Going Home by William Saroyan

　　This is a sad story. The protagonist comes back to his home town, to his home, to the kitchen window after a long absence, but he could not knock at the door even though he desperaely wants to see his mother, his brother and his sister. His old memory-- an ugly and bitter memory--prevents him from entering his house. He leaves the house "weeping becaue there was nothing he could do, not one confounded thing."
  This is a moving story. The writer reveals the protagonist's feelings so well that I found myself identified with him. 
   I want to know why he had gone out of the house and had been away from it for a long time. Have I missed the part which describes the reason? Someone out there, help me.

Mrs. Sandoval by William Saroyan

　　This is a moving story. Homer, a telegraph messenger, tries to console the woman who knew through the telegraph that her son had been killed in the war, saying, “… But maybe the telegraph is wrong,” in vain. She holds herself in trying not to weep. Looking at her, the messenger boy “saw her back in time, a beautiful woman sitting down beside the crib of her infant son . . . .”

　　The description of what the messenger boy imagined is very effective and moves the readers. Also, the description of the boy’s feelings was good: “his mouth whispering crazy young curses.”

When the Woman Come out to Dance By Elmore Leonard

This is a very good entertaining short story. The mystery of Lourdes’s husband, Mr. Zimmer, is revealed at the end of the story. And at the same time it is a surprise for the reader to know how and who killed the strip dancer’s husband, Mr. Mahmood.

It is well developed and full of intriguing scenes for men like “nude, naked, strip, dancer.” The relation between Lourdes and Mrs. Mahmood is skillfully described when Lourdes begins to smoke her master’s cigarette. And the last line, “We having a party for you, Ginger.” Lourdes’s position has become equal to Mrs. Mahmood’s by calling her name.

ヴェニスと手袋 阿刀田高

タイトルで読者をmisleadさせている。勝った手袋と道の手袋
女性が二人出てくるが、あまり意味がない。
道端に落ちていた手袋のや小道具が効いている
ベニスの街の様子が、うわっぺらで真実味がない。会議もうわっぺら。

A Man by the Name of Ziegler by Hermann Hesse

Not so interesting, nor moving. The way Ziegler gets the pill (at the Egyptian museum) is good. 
Ziegler  is depicted as a man who puts stress on his appearance, but since the animals in the zoo looks dignified without clothes, he realizes how foolish he is, and throws away his clothes. And he is taken to an asylum.

The story tells that human beings are arrogant. Appearance is not what makes you dignified.

The Tonto Woman by Elmore Leonard

A humorous short story. The plot is good. A tattooed woman gets back her dignity with the help by Ruben Vega. He seems to be kind and sincere to her but on the other hand, he was pretending to be so only because he wants to steal the horses from John, her husband.

Full of humorous pages, especially at the end of the story. The tattooed woman teases her husband: “I am not sure I’ve had the pleasure.” “I don’t know if I want to be married to you.” “Did you hear that? He provides me.”

Vega was a nice guy, saved her and smoothly and naturally parts her giving life to her future. A western style story.

心とろかすような 宮部みゆき

巧妙に仕組んだ作り話が見え見え。登場人物が何か言った後に、裏付けの言葉を付け加える。「そうそう、父親の和男の方は柔道の心得がある」とか「彼女オフロードのツーリングに凝っている」とか。現実味がなく、話が不自然。
着想はうまい。少女が金をゆするグルだとは誰も気がつかない。
俺という犬が語るというのも面白い。

1-900 by Richard Bausch

A dialogue between a man, whose wife ran away from him with their children, and Marilyn (Sharon), a sex phone girl. He calls Marilyn, who immediately starts talking with a hot tone, but he tries to talk about general topics rather than goes into sexual talks. He manages to talk with her for a long time, and when he feels like talking about sex, she refuses saying she has a headache.

I predicted how the story would end. The position of the girl and that of the man changes 180 degrees. It ends with a reversed position, and that is the only way to conclude the story.

The story was too long and I was fed up when I read the first 5 or 6 pages. I don’t like him.

(Maybe he felt lonely and wanted to talk about his trouble with someone, anyone who would listen to him.)

The Summer of the Beautiful White Horse by William Saroyan

 Mourad was not punished for stealing John’s horse. Mourad kept the horse in the secret place for more than a month. He should have been punished.
I don’t understand why John did not accuse Mourad of stealing his horse. He was sure that the horse was his when he checked her teeth. And Saroyan failed to explain “the way” when Mourad said, “I know the way with the horse/ John Byro/ dogs."

シェ （ケモノへんと解) 浅田次郎

変な話だ。麒麟という伝説の動物を飼っていたが、麒麟は人の不幸を餌にして生きている。ロッカーで拾われた飼い主の鈴子の不幸を餌にして生きてきて、鈴子の不幸がなくなってくると、麒麟は弱って死んでいく。５０００年も生きたのに。
善人と悪人が分かるというけれど、例がなかったよう。発想は面白いけれど、エンディングが納得できない。不幸を餌にするという発想が分からない。鈴子は麒麟を亡くして、また不幸になる。すっきりしない話だ。

Death of the Right Fielder by Stuart Dybek

　　Right at the beginning, something is strange. Even though the right fielder is dead, no player notices his death for a while, because the position is so minor that nobody pays attention to the right fielder, the narrator says. This is a strange way of beginning a story. That means the right fielder is not a real boy, but a metaphorical existence, metaphor or a symbol of youth before you become seventeen years old.

　　At the end of the story, the players “walk back—getting on to supper, getting on to the end of summer vacation” till they become 35 and over the hill. And around forty, they have completely lost youth, which has been buried under the ground. Longing and missing youth is the theme of the story.  

ふくちゃんのジャック・ナイフ 浅田次郎

ふくちゃんの人物描写。語り手の二郎の心理描写が手に取る様に描かれている。決して難しくない語り口で、自然に物語が流れていくような筆使い。会話も、肩ひじ張らないナチュラル。
起承転結の見事な展開。転でどんでん返しがあり、最後が思い出のジャックナイフで終わる。endingもいい。すみ子もうまく登場させている。

Once More by John Galsworthy

I don’t understand the last part of the story. How could she forgive him after experiencing such jealousy, depression, and anger? She was truly in love with him? She was so weak and dependent on him? A 19th-century woman could act like her, but women in the 21^st century do no act like her. She would reject him strongly.

The Story-Teller by Saki

The story ends with an improper ending, turning the table of the common good.  The children must have been tired of listening to proper stories again and again, but the one the bachelor told was quite opposite from those they have listened to. That is why they say, "a beautiful ending," "the most beautiful story," and "the ONLY beautiful story."
Adult readers may also enjoy the "beautiful  ending." 

OFF by Aimee Bender

The author, Bender, first set three goals: kiss three men. That immediately hocks the reader and let them read until the end. A cunning technique.

The protagonist succeeds in kissing two men, but while she is looking for the third man, she starts a big fuss by hiding the coats. Finally, she fails to accomplish her aim.
Bender is excellent in building the main character, who is arrogant, proud, look down on others, showy, and eccentric. She builds the character through her clothes, her behavior, her conversations,  judgment, and monologues. Her method of building a character is a big help for me in writing stories.

The Paperhanger by William Gay

This is a spooky, weird, and unpleasant short story full of questions.

1.    Why does the paperhanger kill the girl? The reason is not fully described.

2.    Why does he put the girl’s body in the freezer? He could not have predicted that her mother would come to his house.

3.    Why does her mother fall toward him? Was she drunk? The cause is not well explained.

4.    In the end the paperhanger followed the selfsame route the doctor had taken. What does the writer want to say by this? What is the significance of the fact that both took the same routes?

The paperhanger was mentally abnormal. You could write any illogical story if the protagonist is such a person.

The Last Anniversary by Erskine Caldwell

The bartender is unbelievably kind to Annie. The writer does not reveal why he is such a kind man. After drinking the last bottle of beer, Annie smiles at him gratefully, but why did she, who had been so angry and vexing, become gleeful?
And she thinks her love has returned to her when she kisses the bartender passionately. But theoretically, this is unconvincing because Sidney should return it to her, not the bartender. The ending was not so impressive.

Mr Parker by Laurie Colwin

The story describes Jane's growth, from childhood to adulthood through her piano practice at Mr Parker's house. His wife had died and Jane practices the piano alone with him. Naturally, Jane's mother worries about the situation, saying, "I don't want you to be in a house alone with a widowed man." She also says, "What if Mr Paker touched you?"
Jane thinks her mother is being mean,  but one day when Jane played the piano perfectly, Mr. Parker grabbed her by her shoulders and praises her saying, "A real breakthrough."
The last line of the story goes: He had touched me after all.
   

チェホフ 浮気な女

オリガイワーノブナは芸術志向で、さまざまな芸術家と仲良くなるが、夫のディモフに対しては無関心。しかし、彼女はディモフの臨終に際して、「虚を求めていたが、実をなくして、」とはその有難味がわかる」という話。
オリガイワーノブナの浮気性が具体的に描写されている。これとは対照的にディモフのまじめな自己献身的性格もうまく描いている。

川端康成 雪国

全然面白くない。だらだら、ながながと、島崎が駒子の外見、内面をつぶさに観察しそれを言語化している。話が全然展開していかない。三年間で駒子がどのように変化しているかを著しているとは思うのだが、顕著な変化はない。ただ、べたべたと駒子の島崎に対する心情をこまごまと描写している。ドラマがない。しいて言えば、葉子の死がドラマチックではあるが。起承転結の、起があって、あとは承承承承……と続く。退屈する。長編であるのに感動がない。

駒子の心情（肉体関係を求めているのだが、はねつける矛盾か）をうまく描いてはいる。ただ、駒子と葉子に好かれるという川端自身の自己満足小説ではないか。

どこで話を始めてもいいし、どこで終わってもいい。始まりと終わりのない小説。

蚕の話が長いが、どういう意味があるのだろう。島崎と駒子は肉体関係があったことを「指が覚えている」で表しているが露骨。駒子が「聞き間違えて」怒るが、何のことかわからない。

川崎船（ジャッペ） 熊谷達也

久々に感情移入した名短編。主人公栄二郎の気持ちが手に取るようにうまく描かれている。オドに対する憎しみ、オドが火傷で漁船に乗れなくなって、オドの偉大さがわかる。美樹との恋と励まし、大五との漁場トリの激しい争い。見事に話が展開する。
エンディングで、オドが貯金通帳と印鑑を出すが、ちょっと出来すぎな話。

The barber Whose Uncle Had His Head Bitten Off by a Circus Tiger by William Saroyan

   This is a very funny story, but on second thought, you will ponder about yourself.
   A boy goes to a barber to have his hair cut. And the barber tells a very funny but scary story to him while his was cutting his hair. At the end of his story, he says his poor uncle had his head bitten off by the tiger. The boy was scared. He wants to go to the barber again to listen to his story of man on earth.

Here at the end of the story, Saroyan’s tone changes. He talks about men in general. He ends the story which relates to every man. That is to say, he talks about something universal, or a sad story of every man alive, who is lost and lonely and always in danger.   

By the way, I wonder this title is good or not, because it reveals the end of the story.

The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Tostoy

Too long a story. Too many repetition of Ilyichi’s agony, fear, and hope.

The story exhausts the readers as much as Ilyichi. At the end of the story Ilyichi seems to become demented. He has lost clear judgement of “right” and “wrong.”

He says, “Where are you, pain?” and “And death? Where is it?” He seems to have overcome the agony, but this may have been caused by his brain’s malfunction.

「ユダヤ鳥」 バーナード・マラマッド

「ユダヤ鳥」は奥の深い短編で、一筋縄ではいかない。単なるユーモア小説と思って読んでいたら、そうではないのだ。最後の一行の「ユダヤ迫害者たちに」というイーディの言葉は、話をひっくり返す。実はコーエンはユダヤ人で、コーエン一家（イーディとモーリー）はユダヤ系米国人だ。それは、４７ページで鳥が祈りはじめると、「イーディは頭を垂れ」「モーリーは祈りに合わせて身体を前後に揺らし（祈りの動作）はじめ」ることで分かる。

　なぜユダヤ人であるコーエンはユダヤ鳥を殺したのか。ここで私は頭が混乱した。昨日ネットで調べてみると、「ユダヤ人の反ユダヤ主義者」とか「ユダヤ人を忌み嫌うユダヤ人」がいるという。いわゆる自虐か。ユダヤ人がナチスによって劣等民族と烙印を押されたことで、そう思い込んでいるらしい。ユダヤ人であることが嫌で、嫌いなユダヤ鳥を殺したという訳か。（この辺はユダヤ人が読むと実感するかも）

　ちなみにユダヤ人の名前の由来をネットで調べたら、コーヘン（Ｃohen）はユダヤ語で「聖職者」という意味で、またシュヴァルツ(Schwartz)は「黒」という意味だ。（作者のマラマッド（Malamed [Malamud?]）は「教師」）。

　我々、日本人が外国の本を読むことは、背負っている文化が違うから、きちんと読めないことを痛感した。

暗殺剣虎の眼 藤沢周平

達之介が父の仇と思っていた清宮太四郎は、実は仇でなかった、ということで一つの区切りとなるが、最後の章で、７年後志野が兼光周助の嫁になり、子供もいる。実は、この周助こそが闇討ちができる男で、闇でも物が白昼のように見ることが出来るのである。仇は周助に無限に近い。
しかし、最後に周助を唐突に出すのは取って付け足したよう。大体、達之介が仇とすべきは藩主右京太夫ではないのか。
話の展開と結末に不満が残る。

「奈良の八重桜」 神部眞理子

奈良の八重桜　　神部眞理子

仏師運慶の生涯を少年時代から没年までを描いた力作。康慶の業績から運慶の制作した仏像を制作順に依頼の経緯を羅列している。
文章表現はいまいち。運慶の人格描写が浅い。葛藤がうわべだけになっている。快慶の人格も掴みにくい。慶太とか涼快などの名前もピンとこない。源平の争いの史実を差し挟んでどういう時代であったかが分かるようになっていて良いが、詳し過ぎる。
定覚が南大門仁王像を南向きにしなかったことを運慶に詫びているが、その経緯が分からない。仁王門の制作過程が簡単すぎる。
３４０ページに生涯をまとめ上げるのは大変であるが、うわべをなぞった感じ。誤字が多い（院尊が印尊/院実が印実）
 

凶暴なライオン 阿刀田高

くだらない話。
読者をエンディングまで引っ張っていって、｛ネタバレ｝男がトランクに入ったままにしておくという終わり方は、ペテンと同じ。だいたい人が入るトランクを男が部屋に置いてある必然性がない。トランクの中に入る入らないの問答も、取ってつけたような問答で、無理がある。consistency一貫性がない。また、直前に昭子が長い髪の女が怖いというが、これも伏線がなく無理に作った話のように響く。あれだけ燃えるような情事を重ねていたから、昭子がトランクを開けるのは当然の成り行きになるはずなのに、閉じ込めたままにしておくといのもcoherence（論理的統一性）に欠ける。

サン・ジュルマン伯考 阿刀田高

期待外れの作品。
伯爵が不老不死の秘薬（エレキシィ）を知っているという話で、どういう秘術かと期待しながら読んでいくと、実は子孫代々その人の遺伝子が生きているという「仕掛け」である。これは秘術でも秘伝でも秘薬でもない。ＤＮＡが継続することを、３００年も５００年も生きているというレトリックは、言葉のごまかしで、いただけない。

A Domestic Dilemma by Carson Mccullers

The description of Martin's phycology is vivid. I can understand how he is tormented by his wife's intoxicated behavior. But I don't see any reason to attempt to kill his wife. He apparently tries to kill her because he forsaw the difficulties his children would face in the future as the writer says, "... his wife was a dissolute woman. Dissoute. And he and his children were bound to a futrue of degradation and slow ruin."
His motivation to kill his wife is not persuasive enough.

The comentator says in the Interpretation section that "If the story is successful, we must be made to feel that Martin and Emily are believable and that their actions and thoughts, including Martin's final shift in feeing  toward his wife, are true to this pair of people would do and think and feel.

A lesson in fiction writing:
The writer should not forcibly bend the natural development of the story to suit to his intention. 筋を無理に曲げない